The thing is...

The thing is, the darkness doesn't go. Even on the best days of dwelling in the love of God, even on my best days of not responding cynically to every expression of love that comes from my Father and others. Even on the days where I am secure in who He has made me to be and not grasping on to the gifts more than the giver. Even on the days that I win some battles. Even on the days that the sun shines in all it's splendor.
The darkness does not go.

It's not enough. Just not enough.

"Yet still this will not be.
Though all around is rage
The story getting darker with each turning of the page
Yet still this will not last.
This kingdom of the fool
Will be humbled and made low
When the broken hearted rule."
(Martyn Joseph)

“Beneath the surface of everyone’s life, especially the more mature is an ache that will not go away. It can be ignored, disguised, mislabelled, or submerged by a torrent of activity, but it will not disappear. And for good reason. We were designed to enjoy a better world than this. And until that better world comes along we will ache for what we do not already have. An aching soul is evidence not of neurosis or spiritual immaturity, but of realism… yet there is no escape from an aching soul, only denial of it. The promise of one day being with Jesus in a perfect world is the Christians only hope for complete relief. Until then we either groan or pretend that we don’t.”

“Inside out”- Larry Crabb